vrijheid ([info]vrijheid) wrote,
@ 2004-04-15 21:58:00
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I have a sty in my eye
So it hurts every time I blink.

My hair is maroon and short.

I think my eye matches my hair.

So here's the thing. I'm yet again participating in behaviors that are self destructive but the kicker is, I am fully aware of it. Excuses aside. It's like watching a movie. Because it's different, I figure this is progress. Besides, I've let go of so many non-healthy habits recently that I figure this has to be a healthy change (at least in attitude).

My son drives me crazy and after he's in bed, I regret my attitude with him from the day. We did have one very endearing moment when we'd been harsh with one another (he's just 3.5), and I said to him I was sad. He said he was too. I said we should hug then. What a fucking great hug.

My daughter looked at me today and said, "Guns.". I said "What?" "Guns." she repeated. "Guns?" I said, "Yes." she replied. She's 1.5.



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n' Roses
[info]androit
2004-04-16 11:59 am UTC (link)
I suppose the occasional descent into self-destruction is to be forgiven; two opposing forces can be perceived in the universe after all, and one's not "better" than the other. As long as one's shock and horror at acknowledging one doesn't generate so much shame and horror that they feel it necessary to cut themself off from the other permanently. If that makes any sense.

Methinks you need a little breaky-poo, my friend. Dunno how to arrange it exactly, but just a day or two of loaning the kids out to some responsible friend/sister/mother, take yourself out into the high desert in the eastern half of your state or something, and vegetate. Or in some other way carve out a niche of time with Nothing To Do except listen to the universe tick. Just a suggestion.

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Re: n' Roses
[info]vrijheid
2004-04-16 02:20 pm UTC (link)
Yes, a break is definitely in order. Timing isn't great as my parents are holding things together for my sister the best they can while she's living with them with her two youngest as she figures out what to do with her life. *sigh*

Anyway, if I can just make it long enough to finish my website projects, I plan on throwing myself into finishing my books that bring me peace and get a break that way.

Thank you :)

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